The Real Real Buyer Remorse Phemonema and How To Ensure The Perfect Buy When Shopping Pre-Owned Handbags
Let's weigh in on shopping luxury handbags in the consignment marketplace. To read in full, open this one in the Substack app :)
Hello Lush Life friends,
We’ve all been there- scrolling the new arrivals tab of The Real Real, when that moment of gasp finally comes: a bag worth swooning over.
You race to click, instantly adding to your “Obsessions” tab.
You squint at the liner notes- detailing that the handbag is in Excellent, Very Good, Good or Fair condition.
The price feels reasonable.
Expensive of course, but at a price you can bounce back from, without having to offer up your first born or gambling a kidney away.
But the caveats- you have a 20 minute hold to check out, and all handbag purchases are final sale.
With luxury designer houses price hikes since the pandemic, I once prided myself on shopping directly with my favorite brands.
I love to have a direct relationship with the brands because the Sales Associates that you work with are willing to go the extra mile to help you.
When I couldn’t find my size in my favorite pair of Jimmy Choo strappy sandals, my SA (Sales Associate) did their work behind the scenes: I imagine combing through the Jimmy Choo universe to find them for me. In my size and on sale, it made me a devout customer of the brand.
The same goes for Bottega Veneta.
Last year, I finally caved in to buying a bag I couldn’t stop dreaming about. I traveled for work throughout the United States and wherever there was a Bottega Veneta boutique, there also, was I, trying on different color ways and sizes of the cult favorite, The Hop Bag.
Against all rhyme or reason and certainly risking my financial wellbeing, I decided to make the plunge and pull the trigger.
I needed that bag. But no one could find it in stock at any of the boutiques and the website listed the item as “Find In Store Only”.
At that price, I dare not have my valuables shipping in a box I can’t see!
I messaged my SA, and three days later, my new baby was reserved and available for me to purchase at my local boutique.
For years as a luxury customer, buying with the brand directly assured me that I could get as close to VIP sales experience as possible- but also, should anything happen to my items, they could be easily repaired by the brand.
With the rise of re-sell and shopping pre-owned- many designer houses are discontinuing repair services of purchases unless a customer can demonstrate the item was purchased directly to the brand, and the serial number is tied to the purchaser of the product.
But handbags that were once priced at an aspirational $2k- I now see reaching the $7k-8k ranges. YIKES.
In my early forays into luxury designer fashion, I could only ever afford consignment, dating back to high school.
But since the pandemic, I’ve become quite the pro at navigating the resale and pre-owned marketplace.
I also sell many items from my closet that for whatever reason, no longer feel harmonious to my personal style, and work to re-home them by submitting them to The Real Real or FashionPhile or Rebag for someone else to love them.
I’ve come to see reason as to why The Real Real is the giant consignment destination for the North American market.
People love shopping with The Real Real because the price is typically a bit more accessible for pre-owned.
The Real Real, much to the disdain of us sellers, is known to “price to sell” items, which allows for faster sales on the seller side, and the buyer feels has the dopamine effect of getting an item at “a steal”.
The website interface makes it easy to spend hours on the app if my fellow shopping addicts (or shopping addicts in recovery like me!) aren’t careful.
The Real Real is also pretty streamlined in their marketing approach- with photographing items at several different angles, highlighting any noticeable wear/tear, defects, etc.
The Real Real Buyer’s Remorse Phenomena
But it has happened to me: The Buyer’s Remorse from The Real Real pinches a bit more than buyer remorse you’d get from Old Navy or Ross.
You decide to jump in, and buy the bag (or shoe or sunglasses, etc.)
You have 20 minutes to hold the item while you find your credit card.
You contemplate paying what feels like a down payment for a car for a leather good or a limited runway dress (yes, I’ve been there!).
You get the gumption, hands slightly shaking, and decide to buy now.
Fast forward- you receive your purchased items in the parcels and scramble to the mail box in search of your new treasures.
You open the box- and after try-ons
and runway marches across the living room
and analyzing in your full length mirror, you realize, this isn’t right.
It’s not what I imagined it’d be.
But unfortunately for you, it’s final sale.
You are now the owner of this fine luxury fine, like it not.
It’s yours.
No tagbacks.
I’ve been there and perhaps you’ve been there too.
Shopping Luxury Items Via Consignment:
For today’s post, I’ve come up with some helpful tips to help your pre-owned luxury shopping be more fruitful, ideally with something you’ll love when it arrives, and intend to keep for years to come.
To shop more confidently in the pre-owned marketplace- whether it be The Real Real, Rebag, Vestiaire Collective, Ebay or more: consider these tips:
Pay Close Attention to The Notes:
Most resale and pre owned luxury platforms typically have a rating/ranking system. Items typically marked “Excellent” or “Pristine” are as close to brand new as you can get, and “Very Good” could mean light wear.
These rating systems are not universal, with each platform (like FashionPhile) being more conservative in their rankings (“Excellent” or “Very Good” is pretty much brand new)- and some platforms are more liberal in their ratings, with The Real Real being a bit more forgiving when it comes to dings and scratches, so long as there are no visible stains, tears, etc. The notes are extremely important to pay attention to, and help you decide more concretely if an item is worth it.
Open source platforms like Ebay or Poshmark leave ratings and statement of product conditions to the discretion of the seller- whereas consignment platforms like The Real Real are the third party verifier for the consignor (sellers, like me, selling pieces from their closets).
I’m pretty new to websites like Vestiaire Collective or 1st Dibs, and have not shopped with them previously. Once I’m more confident on their process, I’ll report back.
Those are things to keep in mind when browsing around the web.
What Are Your Deal Breakers?
For some people, they will want the bag to be pristine, brand new with tags or as close to brand new as possible. Others, like myself, are I a bit more lenient depending on how i intend to use the bag, or shoes and what I want and need the item for.
My own personal dealbreakers- musty odors and defective bags with popped stitches or significant tears in the handles, heavy corner wear, and stains- inside or outside the bag, are generally not for me.
If it looks like it’s been chewed up by a herd of pit bulls and kicked around, it’s probably not for me.
While I adore the bag lore of Mary Kate Olsen (and that beat up Hermes Kelly bag), I just can’t justify purchasing a luxury product that has been chewed up and strewn into a basement storage box with musty odor.
I have friends, however, that revel in finding items like the beat up kelly bag. To each their own.
Being firm with your dealbreakers is going to minimize risk of buyers remorse as much as possible.
Try To Source A Handbag You’ve Seen In Real Life:
It’s not always possible, but if you can, I’d highly suggest sticking to a handbags and shoes you’ve actually seen before.
Maybe you’ve seen someone else wear it, or maybe you’ve tried it on in the store. Or walked past it window shopping down the avenue?
Perhaps it’s a similar style to something you already own but in another color. In 2025, i’ve been very firm that I need to at least have seen it, in order to justify it.
While I’m all for adventure, I just am in a place in my life where impulse buying designer pieces that I haven’t witnessed in real life feels like gambling. It’s not always possible, but it has helped me a great deal to be as restrictive when it comes to this as possible.
Know Your Measurements:
As a former plus size girl, knowing your measurements (accurate measurements) when it comes to handbags, shoes, and clothing is going to help you a bit more than you know.
I have my dress measurements saved in my iphone Notes section so that I can compare to listed measurements for clothing- and I do believe one should keep in mind how things fit based on fit- whether it be a narrow vs wide width shoe or how a crossbody sits on a very petite frame versus a plus size frame.
When I was a size 26/28, i struggled with finding crossbody bags that fit me, and often would buy new purse straps or purse strap extenders from Etsy or Amazon to extend the length to get the right fit.
I don’t like when crossbody bags sit underneath the bust line and i don’t like when it sits at the low hip either. I also detest shoulder bags that sit immediately under my armpit (i call them armpit bags).
At a size 28 and even now at a size 10/12- Crossbody Chanel bags and the Fendi baguettes are sadly styles that have not worked out for me.
While they would be fabulous bags for others, I feel limited in versatility- often only being able to wear handbag styles like these in the “crook of my arm”.
Instead, I opt for bags that featured detachable straps, or prioritize shopping with brands and designers that sell additional handbag straps separately.
Over the years, I’ve learned that I liked shoulder bags with an 8-9 inch drop in the handles (this is the length from the maximum stretch from the handle to the opening of the bag).
You’d be surprised but it’s quite difficult to find bags with a deep drop- and when you find them, you love them so much more.
Knowing your measurements will help decide more confidently as you wade through possible contenders.
Again, when shopping consignment, we want to be as informed as possible as buyers, and minimize risk.
Ensure a Return Guarantee
If you’re going to spend your hard earned money, you better love it. Some resellers like Fashionphile, offer a return window of 7 days from when your order is delivered.
Others, like Rebag or The Real Real are final sale.
However, The Real Real will often offer a “Return Guarantee” purchase program at an additional premium.
Much like travel insurance, I highly advise you to ensure a “return guarantee” and pay the extra fee to ensure that you are able to maintain entitlement to a refund, be it due to a change of heart or it isn’t how you’d imagine it to be.
I personally no longer purchase handbags on The Real Real, exclusively buying instead from FashionPhile.
After several incidences, too numerous to count, of having purchased a dress that didn’t fit or a handbag that just wasn’t quite right, only for the item to be final sale and having to be “re-consigned”, I no longer have the patience.
I like to visit The Real Real for runway dresses and sometimes elevated, designer costume jewelry.
I also don’t trust their authentication process for items like silk scarves, as it does take a great deal of familiarity with the artists and releases of silk scarves. (For consignment of scarves, I recommend the UK based luxury consignment boutique, Nearly New Cashmere, where they specialize in curating and sourcing and authenticating limited edition silk scarves from Hermes, Gucci, Loro Piana and more).
An Hermes scarf I purchased from The Real Real turned out to be final sale, and a polyester replica of the scarf I had been looking for. That’s the only time this has occurred for me in my history of shopping with the platform, so it’s something to consider. I believe their strength and wheelhouse is more than likely leather goods and heritage brands (Dior, Gucci, Fendi, Hermes, Prada, etc).
I bought the bag and I’ve decided it’s not for me. What should I do?
Well, congratulations- you are now full fledge owner!
Just kidding.
Of course, you can resell it by re-consigning it with the platform you bought it from. The platform will re-start the authentication process, which will take a few weeks before it’s relisted on the platform.
Your other option, if you just need to get it out of the closet, is to do a “buy out” with resellers that will purchase the item from you. I caution against this, unless you absolutely need to.
These resellers are looking to make a profit and will try to find a way to pay you the least amount possible.
The benefit is that you get paid within a week, and you don’t have to wait for an item to sell.
Once you sell it to the platform, it’s now theirs, and you move on. I once sold a never worn, Louis Vuitton limited edition trunk from my closet to pay down the cost of my cross country move and the platform I sold with priced my buyout substantially low, citing marks and scratches.
I accepted the buy out- because I needed the money.
Of course they listed it at the same price I paid for it in the Louis Vuitton store.
So, again, caution. It’s generally more financially advantageous to consign your items when you can and get as close to the valuation of the product as possible.
It does however, mean playing the waiting game, which depending on your situation, may or may not be feasible.
Shopping The Real Real: Here’s Where I Look
I know, I know, I just said earlier that I don’t ordinarily shop The Real Real for handbags. But alas, there are exceptions to every rule.
FashionPhile focuses on the “premiere” fashion houses that are more universally known, say for instance, Chanel or Louis Vuitton or Goyard, etc.
The Real Real does have a bigger reach, and a more expanded list of designers they will accept for consignment.
You can of course, shop the platform for these same luxury heritage brand designer goods. But I find the secret sauce to The Real Real is searching for lesser-known designer brands. Their still reputable, still quality leathers and materials- they just don’t hold the same resale value as their heritage brand peers.
When I do browse, I’m typically looking for handbags from Givenchy, Marni, Bally, or Proenza Schouler- I know their leathers, I appreciate their designs and considered details, and the price is usually an absolute steal (perhaps to the detriment of the consignor, but a fantastic price for the buyer).
You’ll want to think of styles you gravitate towards most. For me, I’ve come to accept that I never wear top handle totes, and I don’t like crossbody bags (I always find them awkward on me). I’m very particular about handle drops, shape and silhouette, and leather quality. I hate nylon bags (I feel they’re a complete rip off!), and I’m not fond of patent leather or anything that has texture resembling plastic. I also don’t like boxy silhouettes and I despise open bags (bags with no flap or zipper or bag closure). Because I’m extremely picky, I do find that once I fall in love with a particular bag style, I’m all in. Until the end of time.
Knowing and paying attention to your sensibilities is going to be crucial, especially if you find yourself blind buying something online. These days, I do prefer to buy clothes and bags in stores: I need to touch the garments, feel the fabrics, try them on, and see how it performs with me. I don’t shop online unless I’ve seen the item in person, once upon a time.
Here are some of the items I’ve spied with my beady eyes that I’m considering adding to cart:
Celine’s Blade Bag
If you pay attention, I tend to wear bold, detail focused clothing, with exaggerated silhouettes, sumptuous prints and vibrant color.
It’s what makes me feel most like myself.
In contrast, I tend to opt for a more minimalist designed handbag and shoes, to balance everything and bring it all in.
I’ve loved the Celine Blade Shoulder bag since it’s debut during the Phoebe Philo era, and I’m often tempted to add to cart.
I think it’s the perfect shoulder bag- the straps are convertible allowing you to oscillate between shoulder style or crossbody, and the straps are fairly easy to tuck into the interior of the bag to wear it as an oversized clutch (I LOVE VERSATILITY. It’s important to me. Like, seriously important.).
The Leather is phenomenal.
I couldn’t afford it when it was released, so there’s a bit of nostalgia there for me. I might consider adding to my collection and the prices on The Real Real are really feasible (I can bounce back from the prices and won’t feel guilty for the purchase).
If you love a tote, I don’t think you can go wrong with the Luggage Mini (not a mini by any means, just it’s name). I smile when I see men and women wearing theirs in the wild- it had its heyday in the early 2010’s but I think it’s such a moment that it transcends fashion eras.
I’m partial to the mixed print versions, but again, I don’t typically wear top handle totes often enough to justify adding to cart.
Mansur Gavriel
There a ton of styles floating in the pre-owned market. I love the leather from Mansur Gavriel: I find it rivals some of my Bottega and Gucci leather pieces for less than a quarter of the price.
Sometimes Mansur Gavriel embraces quirk, though they’re often very subtle and still feel timeless.
Proenza Schouler:
The Arch Bag, The PS1 bag and The Scrunch Leather Tote are all my favorite picks and many of these options you can find in Excellent condition for under $300.
Margiela:
You can find beautiful pieces from Maison Margiela and their diffusion line (MM6) on The Real Real for fractions of the retail price.
Margiela doesn’t hold it’s resale value, so pre-owned pieces often sell for pennies on the dollar. (A Shame, but a blessing for my wallet!)
*Affiliate Links: I want to be transparent about how I earn a living. My curated edits feature affiliate links, which allow me to retain a commission for creating and promoting my content, and items I love, sort of like a referral fee. Should you decide to purchase, the brand is responsible with sending me a small commission for plug and promotion. This of course, is at no additional cost to the consumer.
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